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This blog was started in 2008 when we did IVF for the first time to build our family after 5 1/2 years of infertility. We now have 7 and 1 year old boys (thanks to modern medicine) and we are enjoying our blessed life as parents ♥ In the summer of 2016 we took another huge step and moved across the country from Oklahoma to New York! This blog is about life and everything in between



Tuesday, December 30, 2008

An Apple a Day + Christmas Pics

Well lately I've been eating a few clementines a day, not apples, but that's how big my baby is so far! Each week gets more exciting, and I'm loving every moment of it. I still have a little belly but not really anything all that noticeable. I have been eating just about everything I come into contact with, so I need to watch it! No weight gain yet though. Here are the updates:
Your growing baby now measures about 4 inches long, crown to rump, and weighs in at about 2 1/2 ounces (about the size of an apple). She's busy moving amniotic fluid through her nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in her lungs begin to develop. Her legs are growing longer than her arms now, and she can move all of her joints and limbs. Although her eyelids are still fused shut, she can sense light. If you shine a flashlight at your tummy, for instance, she's likely to move away from the beam. There's not much for your baby to taste at this point, but she is forming taste buds. Finally, if you have an ultrasound this week, you may be able to find out whether your baby's a boy or a girl! (Don't be too disappointed if it remains a mystery, though. Nailing down your baby's sex depends on the clarity of the picture and on your baby's position. He or she may be modestly curled up or turned in such a way as to "hide the goods.")

A pinch over 3 more weeks and we will find out the gender!!!! Even if he/she is hiding the goods, at least we will get more US pics! Lately I have been checking out albums and getting ideas for my pregnancy scrapbook. I haven't decided if I'm going to keep the color neutral or go along with the gender for color theme. And I probably won't start doing it until I'm about 30 weeks or so. Once I get started on one of those I get OCD and don't stop until it's done. I don't want it to go too quickly! I have a very vast supply of the CUTEST stickers and embellishments already so I'm doing good in that department. Of course more will come after the gender is revealed!

Our Christmas was fabulous last week! Unfortunately I am also taking advantage of all of the holiday pay available at work, so I've been doing a bunch of overtime (and it sucks) so I had to work Christmas Eve. That means I was a zombie Christmas Day because I only got a couple hours of sleep! But that is one of the good things about working nights--even when you have to work on a holiday, if you sacrifice sleep you can still enjoy festivities during the day. Nick spent Christmas Eve while I was gone with his family about an hour away...that didn't go over too well. So we made up for it with my family on Christmas. There was tons of food and family and presents, and of course pictures!! Here are a few:


^The feast!


^Nick and I before eating


^My mom Kathy and stepdad Gary


^My brother Shane and his gf Audra


^Me with my bounty


^Nick excited about his presents


^My grandma Margie and I

Monday, December 22, 2008

Second Trimester!! Making Lemonade...

14 weeks is here and I may possibly be showing a bit!! Still no weight gain but I know it will come. I will start posting belly pics once a month soon, probably starting at week 16. One month from today we find out the gender, and of course get more US pictures!! That will be one of the best days ever! Next year truly is a huge year for us. Here are the updates:



This week's big developments: Your baby can now squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his thumb! Thanks to brain impulses, his facial muscles are getting a workout as his tiny features form one expression after another. His kidneys are producing urine, which he releases into the amniotic fluid around him — a process he'll keep up until birth. He can grasp, too, and if you're having an ultrasound now, you may even catch him sucking his thumb.

In other news: Your baby's stretching out. From head to bottom, he measures 3 1/2 inches — about the size of a lemon — and he weighs 1 1/2 ounces. His body's growing faster than his head, which now sits upon a more distinct neck. By the end of this week, his arms will have grown to a length that's in proportion to the rest of his body. (His legs still have some lengthening to do.) He's starting to develop an ultra-fine, downy covering of hair, called lanugo, all over his body. Your baby's liver starts making bile this week — a sign that it's doing its job right — and his spleen starts helping in the production of red blood cells. Though you can't feel his tiny punches and kicks yet, your little pugilist's hands and feet (which now measure about 1/2 inch long) are more flexible and active.


Christmas is just a few days away, and we are both very excited about this time of year with our family and friends. But I am sad that it will all be over!! We can take solace in knowing that FINALLY after almost 6 years of trying for a baby, next Christmas we will have three in our family!!! Plus the kitties of course :)

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Finally Some Christmas Pictures!

I promised I would post pics of my decorations, and here they are! I didn't take any of the outside lights because they are pretty minimal--just a line along the roof and some little white light trees. Not to mention the barrenness from the lack of grass, leaves, and SNOW. But at night it is simple yet elegant! Inside is where I love to go all out, and if only I could capture the pine and bake apple pie scents wafting through (from candles of course)!



^Christmas tree with new tree skirt and ornaments

^Kitchen table

^Fireplace decorations (notice the bear?)

^Coffee table knick knacks

^Couch and window decorations

^My little village on the back of the piano

^Banister in entry way

^Table in entry way



^Last but not least, this is Crisp. He is a handed down, hand carved bear that looked a little "crispy", so we named him Crisp. We dress him up for Halloween and Christmas!

Hope you enjoyed the pictures! Yesterday was my 3 month prenatal checkup, and everything is looking great. My CF screen was negative, and everything on my chromosome screening was normal so we are looking great in that department. HR was in the 150's and strong. The next appointment is on January 26, which will be AFTER I find out the sex!!!! I can't wait! Only 5 more weeks.

In other news, Nick and I are very excited to be buying some land here in the very near future. Today at 2:30 we are going to look at some acres in a new addition, and to talk to a builder about some house plans. I don't think I had mentioned it before, but we are planning on moving to the semi-country and building a custom Victorian house. We will be putting our house up FSBO hopefully in early March 09. After we sell it, we will temporarily live in an apartment until our Victorian house is built. So little Madilynn/Bradley may spend their first months in an apartment, but that's just fine cause then they can spend the rest of their childhood in a beautiful one-of-a-kind house!! I'll keep you updated.

Monday, December 15, 2008

13 Weeks and a Name Dilemma

13 weeks is here my friends, and I am blogging from work at 1am because I'm currently caught up (ssshhh, don't tell anyone). Some things say 13 weeks is the beginning of the second tri, others say 14 weeks is the beginning. Well either way I am just ecstatic that I have gotten this far and everything is progressing well! I look forward to the next 3 months. Hopefully I'll get a belly soon, cause that means shopping!!! Here is my little one's size comparison and growth:

Fingerprints have formed on your baby's tiny fingertips, her veins and organs are clearly visible through her still-thin skin, and her body is starting to catch up with her head — which makes up just a third of her body size now. If you're having a girl, she now has more than 2 million eggs in her ovaries. Your baby is almost 3 inches long (the size of a medium shrimp) and weighs nearly an ounce.

My Christmas cards have been sent out, my presents are all wrapped and under the tree, and my baking will be shortly underway!! So far I have only received 3 Christmas cards, but that is usually how it goes--I send out 25, and I get 5. Oh well, some people just don't hold dear the traditions of the past. I promise I will take pictures soon of my decorations so that you can see what they look like!
Before I get to the name thing, you might notice up in the right corner of this page I put up a poll for people to vote on if they think I am having a boy or girl. Please vote!! You have until January 22 which is when the BIG ultrasound is!
As for our name dilemma...well I mentioned before that Nick and I loved the girl name Emma Lilly. Of course we do not know (yet) if it is a boy or girl, we just like picking out girl names better! Anywho, I've been browsing baby names on the internet and have come to terms with the fact that "Emma" is one of the most popular names around right now. Realistically, I do not want my little girl to have the same name as five other little girls in her class because it was the "trend" when they were born. So I brought this up to Nick grudgingly and told him it would probably be best if we went with one of the other girl names we had been eyeballing.
Of course this is all hypothetically speaking if we have a girl, but name we have currently decided on is:
Madilynn Rose

Friday, December 12, 2008

First Trimester Screening

I meant to post this yesterday, but I was too tired! Yesterday was my first trimester screening for some of the more common chromosomal abnormalities (also known as the Nuchal Translucency--or NT--test). After waiting in the waiting room for about an hour, they finally called me back and first did genetic counseling to find out my family history. Blah blah, after the end of that, he said I have about a 1:1000 chance of Down's Syndrome. Then on to the ultrasound (my favorite part!) where they measure some fluid at the back of the baby's neck. That was also very normal. Then the lovely technician took took several pictures of baby, and we got to see her moving around and stretching and everything! She is getting sooo big! Here are some of the pics:

^This one is a profile view, head on the right

^This one is a close up of the side of her face (see the nose and lips?)



^This is the front of her face looking right at you

^And this is where she was stretching out

^This is me very happy with my pictures!

And last but NOT least...we have a date for our next ultrasound to find out the gender!!!! It is set for January 22, 2009. Yes ladies and gents we will find out if we have a little Emma or a little Evan!! We are hoping for a girl (in case you haven't noticed) but of course we will be happy with anything healthy and safe! My next prenatal appointment is December 17, and I will be starting the second trimester soon so keep me in your thoughts. Hope you enjoyed the pictures!

Monday, December 8, 2008

Lime in the Coconut...

The weeks are just flying by! I'm already at 12 weeks, and yes things are still going fabulous. A lot of bloating the last few days, but I have actually lost weight so far! I still don't think I'm showing at all. When I lay down, I don't see a bump at all. Or really feel one for that matter. Here is the fruit picture of the week and her current growth status:



The most dramatic development this week: reflexes. Your baby's fingers will soon begin to open and close, his toes will curl, his eye muscles will clench, and his mouth will make sucking movements. In fact, if you prod your abdomen, your baby will squirm in response, although you won't be able to feel it. His intestines, which have grown so fast that they protrude into the umbilical cord, will start to move into his abdominal cavity about now, and his kidneys will begin excreting urine into his bladder.

Meanwhile, nerve cells are multiplying rapidly, and in your baby's brain, synapses are forming furiously. His face looks unquestionably human: His eyes have moved from the sides to the front of his head, and his ears are right where they should be. From crown to rump, your baby-to-be is just over 2 inches long (about the size of a lime) and weighs half an ounce.


Over the weekend at work I once again snuck a peak at my babykins. She was in there all jumping around. After that since I kind of knew where she was, I tried with the doppler and found the heartbeat!!! It was 144 at that time. So when I got home that morning, I got my new fancy doppler out and was able to find it with that too! Me and Nick laid there and listened to it for awhile--it was 156 then. I tried again the next morning (after getting set up to record it) and of course couldn't find it again. Maybe next time!! But it was so amazing to hear it. I kept finding mine, but of course when the baby's is found it is obvious. I promise I will post an audio clip on here as soon as I can.

Nothing much else going on here, just working a bunch. Nick is looking forward to Christmas break, and I am looking forward to the new year! My NT test is this Thursday, so I should get a bunch of US pics to show you all! Check back then.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Fig Newton and a Video!

I'm here at 11 weeks along, and this is my weekly update for size and growth:



Your baby, just over 1 1/2 inches long and about the size of a fig, is now almost fully formed. Her hands will soon open and close into fists, tiny tooth buds are beginning to appear under her gums, and some of her bones are beginning to harden.

She's already busy kicking and stretching, and her tiny movements are so effortless they look like water ballet. These movements will become more frequent as her body grows and becomes more developed and functional. You won't feel your baby's acrobatics for another month or two — nor will you notice the hiccuping that may be happening now that her diaphragm is forming.


And for the neatest part! I think I mentioned how at work we have this primitive ultrasound machine...well Saturday night I had some free time so I "borrowed" it in an empty room and got a really good side view of Emmers. The funny thing was after a few seconds, it looked like she was trying to push and kick the ultrasound probe away!! It was so neat. Of course then I didn't have my camera, so I decided to bring it last night and try for round 2. It took a bit longer to find her, and I didn't get as good of a view, but you can still make out what she's doing in there!


video


My first trimester chromosomal screening is next week on the 11th, and other than that I really don't have much going on. Just work work work! I can't believe it's already December. I put all of my Christmas decorations up on Friday morning, and it looks mucho festive in my house. My hubby has just 3 more weeks until he is off for break, then it will be 2009! A HUGE year for us!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Giving Thanks



I am going to try and start blogging about my life and the happenings in it, not just about doctor visits and my lack of morning sickness. Maybe that will make it more interesting for those few readers out there!

So today is finally Thanksgiving--the big bang to start off the winter holidays. I love this time of year (as do most) because it is just so dang festive. You get to decorate your house, cook your annual feast, and see family. Since I've been a nurse, I've worked on just about every holiday--if not out of requirement then for the extra money. This year is no different. I just got off of work, and today is my one day off before I go back for 3 more. I may be a bit delirious from lack of sleep (I've been up since 8am YESTERDAY) so I will try to make sense!!

7 Things I am Thankful for in My Life

1) My dear husband Nick of almost 6 years for being my rock and support through better or worse, and being able to trust him 100%

2) My nursing career that began right out of high school and has been a bumpy ride, but has brought so many awesome experiences and opportunities my way that nobody else my age has had

3) My parents for eventually seeing me as an adult and not a little girl, and for being able to depend on them when they are needed

4) God for sticking by me, even when I question his plan. For giving me the strength to get through the hardest times, and the knowledge to learn from my mistakes

5) Sara for needing me as much as I need her in my life, and for making me laugh, or for letting me cry

6) The low cost of living in Oklahoma (even though I really don't like it here)

7) The Center for Reproductive Health and the fact that my first visit there I cried because I felt so hopeless, and my last visit there I cried because I saw my baby move

*************************

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving, and don't forget to count your blessings!!

Monday, November 24, 2008

From Embryo to Fetus

We are finally to the 10 week mark, and things are looking great! According to everything I've read, this is the big week where the placenta kicks in and supports the growing baby. And the growing baby is now officially a fetus and no longer in the embryonic period!! I love the milestones. Here is the size she is this week:


Getting bigger everyday! I'm going to really miss getting my weekly ultrasounds, but I'll get used to it! Today is also the last day I have to use my progesterone cream. It has done it's job well but I will be glad to see it go! Here is how she is developing...


Though he's barely the size of a kumquat — a little over an inch or so long, crown to bottom — and weighs less than a quarter of an ounce, your baby has now completed the most critical portion of his development. This is the beginning of the so-called fetal period, a time when the tissues and organs in his body rapidly grow and mature.

He's swallowing fluid and kicking up a storm. Vital organs — including his kidneys, intestines, brain, and liver (now making red blood cells in place of the disappearing yolk sac) — are in place and starting to function, though they'll continue to develop throughout your pregnancy.

If you could take a peek inside your womb, you'd spot minute details, like tiny nails forming on fingers and toes (no more webbing) and peach-fuzz hair beginning to grow on tender skin.

In other developments: Your baby's limbs can bend now. His hands are flexed at the wrist and meet over his heart, and his feet may be long enough to meet in front of his body. The outline of his spine is clearly visible through translucent skin, and spinal nerves are beginning to stretch out from his spinal cord. Your baby's forehead temporarily bulges with his developing brain and sits very high on his head, which measures half the length of his body. From crown to rump, he's about 1 1/4 inches long. In the coming weeks, your baby will again double in size — to nearly 3 inches.


One last thing...Saturday night at work, me and a pregnant (33wk) coworker got the unit ultrasound machine (very small and old) and looked at our babies! She was trying to figure out how hers was laying. It took me awhile to find mine, but I pushed down and twisted and searched and finally found her! I sat there for 5-10 minutes just watching her move around. It was amazing!! I know that each week she will get bigger and bigger and I will have the ability to look at her when I want to. I'm pretty happy about that! So maybe know that I know where she is, hopefully I can start hearing a heartbeat on the doppler. Thanks for reading!

Thursday, November 20, 2008

First Prenatal Appointment

Today I got to meet my new OB doctor. She is very sweet, and answered all of our questions. She really seems like she cares, and explained everything she was doing. First she did a physical exam, then we did the ultrasound. Unfortunately her machine doesn't do the heartbeat like my other doctor's did, so we didn't hear it or see the rate, but we saw little Emmers heart beating away. And of course I got another picture!!! This is at 9wk2d.



I've been spoiled my other doctor, and I won't be getting as many ultrasounds now. In the next few weeks we are going to do the nuchal translucency test so I will get an ultrasound with that, but after that we won't get one until the BIG one where we find out the gender. That should be around the end of January.

So both me and Emmers are doing great, hubby is very excited about it all. I just bought a scanner today so after I get it hooked up the pictures should look clearer. I will have checkups every 4 weeks for now, and my next one is Dec. 17.

***I might add that in one week she went from 1.75 cm to 2.58 cm!!!!

Monday, November 17, 2008

Grapes of Wrath...(or joy)

Today I am 9 weeks along! I love watching how the little floating baby in my widget changes with each week. Me, hubby, and Emmers are all doing great. Since she pretty much looks like a real baby now, instead of posting pics of the "in-utero" image, I'm going to post pics of how big she's supposed to be!


This week she is supposed to be about the size of a large grape. I don't really think I have a belly yet, just mostly bloated! Here is her growth update:

Your new resident is nearly an inch long —about the size of a grape— and weighs just a fraction of an ounce. She's starting to look more and more human. Her essential body parts are accounted for, though they'll go through plenty of fine-tuning in the coming months. Other changes abound: Your baby's heart finishes dividing into four chambers, and the valves start to form — as do her tiny teeth. The embryonic "tail" is completely gone. Your baby's organs, muscles, and nerves are kicking into gear. The external sex organs are there but won't be distinguishable as male or female for another few weeks. Her eyes are fully formed, but her eyelids are fused shut and won't open until 27 weeks. She has tiny earlobes, and her mouth, nose, and nostrils are more distinct. The placenta is developed enough now to take over most of the critical job of producing hormones. Now that your baby's basic physiology is in place, she's poised for rapid weight gain.


Wow! So I have read that you should be able to start hearing the heartbeat with a Doppler between 9 and 10 weeks....so all this weekend at work when I had a few minutes, I would sneak into the bathroom with our little Doppler and try and try to find a heartbeat. Well I found my own, but not hers. So tonight hubby and I are going to the store to get one because I want to know the exact DAY that I will first hear her heartbeat at home! I'll keep you posted.

My first prenatal appointment is this coming Wednesday so I will post then and tell you the news! Thanks for reading.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

8wk2d Ultrasound

Today was absolutely AMAZING and sad at the same time. Today was my last appointment with my RE whom I have been seeing since June. He truly has given Nick and I the miracle of life, and we are forever grateful to him for it. I bought him a card and baked 2 big loaves of banana bread for him and his staff, and they were very appreciative of it! He said to come back after the baby gets here, and I told him I'll be using him again in a couple of years.

Otherwise, the ultrasound was beautiful. Nick had class, so my best friend Sara went with me. Little Emma (yes we are convinced it's a girl) has gotten soooo much bigger in the last 2 weeks! At the 6 week ultrasound she was 0.3 cm, and now she is 1.75 cm! You could really see the shape of the baby, and her heartbeat was a whopping 170!!! Here's a pic, then the best for last...





Isn't she huge!!?? I think the head is on the right. Well here is the best part of the whole thing...after Dr. Haas located her and zoomed in, he held it still for a second (and I held my breath so I didn't interfere) and we saw her move!!!!!! There was a couple of happy tears! I can't wait until I can start feeling her kicking around in there.

That's it for this time, my first prenatal appointment with my OB is next Wednesday so hopefully I get another picture to last me until December. Thanks for reading!!

Monday, November 10, 2008

Kidney Beans!!

I can't believe 8 weeks is here! Today I am 2 months pregnant, and only 1 month away from being in the 2nd trimester. I am very excited with each passing day and week! And on Wednesday, I will see my RE for the last time, and get another beautiful picture of my baby. Here is what he/she looks like this week:




New this week: Webbed fingers and toes are poking out from your baby's hands and feet, his eyelids practically cover his eyes, breathing tubes extend from his throat to the branches of his developing lungs, and his "tail" is just about gone. In his brain, nerve cells are branching out to connect with one another, forming primitive neural pathways. You may be daydreaming about your baby as one sex or the other, but the external genitals still haven't developed enough to reveal whether you're having a boy or a girl. Either way, your baby -- about the size of a kidney bean — is constantly moving and shifting, though you still can't feel it.

Amazing isn't it! Otherwise things are going well. No nausea (thank you Jesus), and I think the fatigue is getting a little better. Of course, now I'm peeing all the time! And within the next couple of weeks I should be able to start hearing the heartbeat with a Doppler. I have a friend at work who has one she is going to loan me. I can't wait!!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

New OB Class

Today I went to an OB class at my new OB's office by the hospital. They just started doing this class last December for newly pregnant patients. It was pretty informative, except for the fact that I've already done soooo much reading and research on everything that I had pretty much already heard the pregnancy info before. We got a bunch of pamphlets telling us about the OB services offered, like lactation consultants, birthing classes, and infant/toddler CPR. Also they gave us a map to show where exactly we need to go when we go into labor (which is actually very helpful because it's a HUGE campus and I would very easily get lost).

Then they drew the blood for my prenatal workup, and I went ahead and had them tag on the test to see if I'm a carrier for Cystic Fibrosis. I don't think I am--it doesn't run at all in my family that I know of--but hey, it wouldn't hurt to know for sure. I will be returning for the first official prenatal checkup on the 19th, and they will discuss the lab results with me then.

One thing they gave me there was a sample of these sucker things for morning sickness. I'm not having any--thank God--but I grabbed a few just in case! They are called B-natal in case anyone is interested! I think they're basically B6, but hey whatever works!

Monday, November 3, 2008

Blueberry Baby

Today is the 7 week mark! Every week is bringing us closer to our family. Everything is still going very well, I have a busy month coming up. First of all, here is what my baby is doing this week:

The big news this week: Hands and feet are emerging from developing arms and legs — although they look more like paddles at this point than the tiny, pudgy extremities you're daydreaming about holding and tickling. Technically, your baby is still considered an embryo and has something of a small tail, which is an extension of her tailbone. The tail will disappear within a few weeks, but that's the only thing getting smaller. Your baby has doubled in size since last week and now measures half an inch long, about the size of a blueberry.




It's so amazing how fast it is growing, and it is still so weird and foreign to me to know that there is another human inside of me with a heartbeat! I know it's going to be crazy when I start feeling him/her moving! I can't wait.

As for my upcoming schedule, this Thursday I have an OB class at my new OB's office where they give me some papers to fill out, info about pregnancy, and draw my prenatal bloodwork. Then I rescheduled my last US with my RE for the 12th, and yes I'm still sad our time is over with him! He is really an awesome doctor. After that I got my first OB appointment moved up to the 19th, and then they will do a US and a pappy, and talk about the next step. And by then, I'll be almost 9 1/2 weeks along!!

I just want to say how grateful I am to have gotten this far. Even if something bad happens, I will still have these few precious weeks (and ultrasound pics) to cherish for the rest of my life. And if everything goes great, I'll be a momma this time next year!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

A Very Special Day

Today was our second ultrasound, and Nick and I got to see our baby's heart beating! It was amazing. I think it's finally setting in that I'm pregnant. The heartbeat was 117, and I read that it will get faster as the weeks go on. Here is what my baby looks like right now, you can see it better inside the sac:




Everything is still looking really good, I only have one more appointment with my RE and then they will release me to my regular OB!! I told him I'll miss him because we've gotten close over these last few months, and he gave me a hug! I'll have to bring them some cookies or something with my next visit.

I go back on November 13 for one more ultrasound, and that's it! I also started an actual journal for the pregnancy to write about each visit and special thing that happens, and about symptoms and things I go through so that I have something to physically go back and look at in the future.

That's all for now, thanks for reading!

Monday, October 27, 2008

My Little Lentil

Today I am 6 weeks along, and progressing nicely so far! No changes yet, but I know that morning sickness is lurking around the corner. Here is what my baby looks like right now:



Right now it is about the size of a lentil, or 1/4 of an inch long. Me and the hubby are anxiously awaiting the Thursday ultrasound where we will be able to see his/her heartbeat finally! I made my first appointment with my new OB doc because my old one doesn't deliver at my hospital. I see her on December 3.

That's it for now, thanks for reading! Check back on Thursday for ultrasound #2 :)

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

First Ultrasound!

Today was our first ultrasound, and everything went well. We have one very nice looking gestational sac, and we are going back next Thursday to see the heartbeat! I gotta say, I was really hoping for twins, but I'll take what I can get!



The text that you see around the sac is where the Dr. put an arrow to the embryo and typed "HI MOM AND DAD". It was so cute!!! I can't wait until we get another one next week.

I haven't started the Progesterone gel yet because I was waiting to find out how many more weeks I was going to need it because the box only came with 18. Well I've got 5 more weeks ahead of me, so I'll be having to purchase another one after awhile. And yes, the gel goes where you think it goes :( But anything is better than stabbing my self everyday!

Symptoms are still pretty much the same. I keep waiting for the vomiting to hit, which I'm sure it will at the most inopportune time. I have a vomit bag on tap in my car, and I can always get more from work. My Dr. told me that taking vitamin B6 and Ginger Root help alot with morning sickness. So I went and bought those today for when I need it. I read that it usually starts between weeks 6 and 8, so it will be soon!

I also bought some lotion for the belly so *crossing fingers* I don't get stretch marks. I read that vitamin E and Collagen are the best ingredients for it, so that's what I got. We'll see how it goes.

I guess that's it for now, if anything happens or I feel the need to blog before next Thursday, it will be on here. Otherwise next week is the heartbeat!!!!!

Monday, October 20, 2008

5 Weeks and Beta #2



I should be sleeping right now, but I just got the call from my Dr. and he had TWO bits of wonderful news for me!

2nd Beta 18 days past 3 day transfer: 1589

Isn't that fabulous??? Four days ago, it was 314, and I did a little math according to the "rule" that is should double about every 31 hours. So I guesstimated that today it should be around 950. As you can see, it far exceeded my expectations!! I really do want twins, and that brings me to the next bit of news....

Our first ultrasound is Wednesday!!! Yes, as in the day after tomorrow!! This will be my marker for myself to let down my guard a bit and start to get more excited. Not to mention I'll probably spill the beans to a few more people. Of course almost everyone at my work already knows cause I've been running my mouth through the whole process!! Everyone is so happy for me, and I am working on aquiring my very OWN copy of "What to Expect When You're Expecting".

I guess I kind of got a third bit of good news. As most of us know who are involved in the IVF process, after retrieval you must do an IM shot of Progesterone everyday until about 8 weeks gestation. Well I have been doing it for a whole 2 weeks now, and my butt is so freakin sore. I'm not kidding. Bruising, knots, pain going down through my hip. I told the nurse about it last Thursday when I got my first HCG, and she said "Well you know you can also do the shot in your thigh?" HAHAHA, if you haven't read the story about when I did that, you should. I informed her that I tried that and my right leg was rendered nearly useless for 3 days. So that option of course is out. I tried to stick it out for a few more days, but I highly doubt I could suffer through this for 3 more weeks! So I talked to my wonderful doc about it this morning, and he more than happily prescribed me some gel to do instead! I'm pretty happy about that. Here are some pics of the damage:


Left cheek


Right cheek


So as you can see my derriere is not a happy camper. Well that's all the big news for today! As for symptoms, I've been very tired, and eating a lot, and peeing more than usual. Not really having any cramps for the last several days, just the occasional twinge. No spotting at all either! So far, so good. Keep us in your prayers, and check back Wednesday for the ultrasound blog!!!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

In a "Beta" Mood

It's official!! We're expecting! I have been waiting over 5 1/2 years to say that, and my time has finally come. I know the next few weeks will be the most vital, and my optimism is growing. I just want one more good beta and the ultrasound, and I will be good to go! We probably won't broadcast it to the world until we get to about 8 weeks, just as a precaution. But the close people in our lives will know of course :)

#1 Beta 14 days past 3 day transfer = 314

The lines don't seem to be getting any darker on my tests, but I haven't taken any other kind yet so maybe this is just how dark they get? But I will probably stop testing everyday now that I've been confirmed!




I think I may still be in shock, but I'll slowly get used to it! The hubby is getting more and more excited, and keeps calling me "preggo mama". It's so cute! I have looked up all kinds of info on beta levels, and the next one should give us an inclination of multiples, hopefully. If any of you out there reading this would like to tell me what you're betas were and if you had one, two, or three, feel free to!!!!

Here is what the embryo(s) look like this week:




Stay tuned for my second beta on Monday morning!!! (I'll post it in the afternoon since I'll be sleeping after working Sunday night)

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

A Bit Excessive, I Know

You know you love me :) So here is my test from today. Darker as you can see!!! Hubby is starting to get excited, but still cautiously waiting on the beta. I promise I'm not going to continue to put this up everyday, just wanted to show this one too! I'm proud, what can I say?


Monday, October 13, 2008

4 Weeks!

I know I'm a goober, but by God I'm going to milk this for all it's worth! My beautiful second line is progressively getting darker, and I am finally able to capture it on my camera to show you guys! Here they are, all lined up for you:



I am dying for Thursday to get here! On a non-pregnancy cycle, I would have been due to start my period either yesterday or today. But I have had nothing show up, so I'm hoping and praying it doesn't! I have been feeling kind of "twingey" in my uterus area. Not really crampy, more twingey. But I do have a story for you...

We all know the progesterone shots go in the muscle in the bum. Well my left bum was off limits for awhile cause the dear husband went a bit too close to the middle and I swear he hit bone. So that was verrrry sore and has a knot on it still. So for two day after that, I did my own shot but can only do it on the right bum since I'm right handed. Well Saturday I woke up in the afternoon all hot and cranky and needing to pee (frequent urination??). Turns out hubby wasn't home, and never came back home before I left for work that evening. So I couldn't do the left one by myself, and the right one was getting pretty sore. I really didn't want to subject any of my coworkers to my "cheeks", so I figured I would do it in my thigh since that is also a place you can give IM shots. So in the right thigh I go, the needle didn't really hurt. But shortly after injecting the medicine....oh my dear Lord. I of course did it right before I had to run out the door for work, so I proceeded to hobble around grabbing my bags and whatnot to leave. Then the rest of the night I suffered as my thigh proceeded to throb and ache. It's kind of like that ache right before you get a muscle cramp.

Don't worry about hubby though, he was merely out with a friend. I put him through a nice guilt trip for leaving me high and dry on the shot, and he vowed to never do it again. Well that was Saturday, and today is Monday, and yes it still throbs. So we are back to the cheeks, lesson learned. Note to self: do NOT inject progesterone into thighs.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Not Too Proud to Eat my Words

Evidently my bout of self pity made a difference, because the very next day (Friday) I got a faint second line. Yes ladies and gentlemen, those elusive second lines do exist!!!!! So after my excitement started to build while doing endless research on the internet, I took another one later that day. Same result, faint second line. Too faint to photograph unfortunately, my camera does NOT like close up pictures.

Soooo this morning after I got home from work I took another one and let it kind of dry while I took off my makeup and stuff. I put it next to the one from yesterday, and it is definitely darker than yesterdays!! I am now officially the most pregnant I have ever been before! I am still trying to keeps my hopes in reserve until I at least get two good betas and an affirmative ultrasound. But I am a worrier, I think I will always be fearing the "worst" that could happen. It is a side effect of working in the ICU where people come in who actually have the "worst" happening to them.

I have searched through tons of stories and experiences and research on the internet about chemical pregnancies and whatnot, and most all of them say that if it is positive and then consecutively negative, that is most likely a chemical pregnancy. So I will continue to test everyday until my beta on Oct. 16, and monitor for that damn second line!! But until then, I'm putting this on here because I don't know if I'll be able to use it later on. Humor me people :)

Lilypie Expecting a baby Ticker

Thursday, October 9, 2008

7 Days Past 3 Day Transfer

Nothing much going on with me, yes I'm weak and I've been taking an HPT everyday starting day 4 past transfer. Yes they have all been BFN. My pain is gone, but with my shot yesterday I think my hubby got my hip bone cause it hurt sooooooo bad when he did it, and now there is a knot at the site and my hip hurts. *Sigh*



I don't know if my moodiness should be a good sign, or a sign that AF is going to show up soon. I have been very cranky, and mostly depressed and hopeless. I know it's too soon to tell, it's not the HPT getting me down. I just have this premonition if you will, that it didn't work. I hope to God that it did, and I know I've done everything right. I just don't feel like it worked. It's more psychological than physical. I hope to be proved wrong next Thursday.

This is what my kitty Cuddles was doing...


So a BIG thank you to all of the people who have been praying for me and supporting me on here, and in real life :). I truly do appreciate it. This has been a very hard time for me, and I am ready for the next 7 days to fly by. If anything else happens before the 16th I will post an update, but I'm not expecting it to so check back then!!!!!

Monday, October 6, 2008

Not What I Wanted to Hear.

I got the call today from the doctor's office about my leftover embryos and if they were able to be frozen at all. They were not. Not one of them. I'm pretty distraught about it, I'm hoping this is not an indication of how well the two they transferred will do. I've got 9 1/2 more days until my beta and I swear this will be the death of me. I feel so much pressure now if this does work, because if we lost the baby, there is no "do-over". And if it doesn't work, then that embryo picture just cost me $15,000 dollars because insurance did NOT cover any of my stuff.

So I'm in limbo here, trying so hard to stay optimistic. I've read about several people whose first IVF did not work, but then the frozen embryo transfer worked. I have no second chance. I really do not think we will do this again if it is unsuccessful because that is just so much money, and we could adopt and have a child for that. But I don't think I'm ready to give up on being pregnant just yet.

As for me, I'm slowly getting better. The abdominal swelling is finally going down, and the pain is almost gone.

Please keep us in your prayers through this very hard and taxing time, we need all of the help we can get!

Friday, October 3, 2008

Post-Transfer and Baby Pic!

Sorry I didn't get on till today, my computer is upstairs and I have been stationed downstairs. The transfer went well, it was in the same room that my retrieval was in. We got the embryo picture first off, and Nick was able to hold my hand the entire time. Before the procedure started and we were in the room alone, I said a prayer for us that the next two weeks will pass quickly and be successful.



After confirming placement of the catheter in my uterus, the doctor inserted the embryos, then made sure none were still in the syringe. After they called all clear, he removed the speculum and had me lay there for about 15 minutes before I could go pee. Then we were free to go, but he advised that I lay down in the backseat on the way home, LOL. The rest of the day I vegged out on the couch (which has now caused my back to hurt) and took it easy.

I can't believe we are already to this point!!! Next week I will be busy, so hopefully the next two weeks go by fast. Our official test date when they will do the HCG blood draw is on October 16. Everyone, please keep us in your prayers, and thank you to those who have been.

I don't ask for much, I just want to be a mama!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

The Big Day...

I just got the call from Dr. Haas, and there are two embryos that are doing the best out of all of them, so we are going to go ahead and do the transfer tomorrow afternoon!!! I will be getting a picture, and he said we will freeze the leftover ones that make it to the blastocyst stage. I'm so excited!!! This had better work cause I really don't want to go through another egg retrieval. It has not been fun. But we do what we have to do, and I will blog tomorrow about how it goes.

Keep me in your prayers!

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

13 is the Lucky Number!

Let me just start off by saying that Dr. Haas is awesome. He truly cares about how I'm doing! He called me this morning at 7:30am just to check and see how I was feeling!

I got the first official report on my future babies a little bit ago, and here it is:

  • Out of 21 eggs, 17 were mature
  • 1 was abnormally large and discarded
  • 16 received the ICSI
  • 13 fertilized
  • 8 of the 13 are really good
  • 5 of the 13 are ok
I will get another report tomorrow afternoon, and he still thinks we will most likely do the transfer this Saturday. So right now I have 13 babies in a lab! I can't believe it's almost happening...

As for me, my soreness is slightly better today but the catheter thing still sucks. Progesterone shot #2 was today and it doesn't really hurt so I'm happy about that. I just can't wait till the day I do my beta test!!

Monday, September 29, 2008

Wow. I'm Really Sore.

Where to begin...this morning was my retrieval. So after working 12 hours last night, I drove all the way home to get my stuff and my husband, then drove all the way back to the Dr. I was sooo nervous, but they were really good about explaining everything to me as they went along. They took me back to a room where I changed and they started an IV and hooked me up to a monitor (my first ever IV by the way). The anesthesiologist came in and told me what drugs they were going to use, and what to expect when we got into the procedure room. Now since I'm an ICU nurse, I'm very familiar with sedative drugs. The cocktail I got was Versed, Fentanyl, and Propofol. I was very surprised to hear the Propofol because that is a drip that almost everyone on a ventilator in my ICU is on! So now I get to go to work and tell everyone I've had it, lol.

Dr. Haas then came in and explained the procedure to Nick and I, and reminded us what to watch out for afterwards at home. He told us some swelling and soreness is normal, but it should get better not worse. Then they wheeled me back and sent Nick off to the waiting room. The last thing I remember is the doctor putting the speculum in! Next I woke up back in the first room and the nurse was sitting with me and writing down my vital signs. I do believe I began talking her leg off when I woke up, so that was pretty funny. Nick did his business, then Dr. Haas came in to tell us how it went.

He started off by saying they got 21--yes, TWENTY-ONE eggs!!!! He was only expecting 10-12!! So we are very excited about that. Then he proceeded to say that there was some bad news...evidently my bladder is larger than normal (probably due to my non-peeing at work) and they had trouble getting to my right ovary so they most likely punctured my bladder in the process. He said it's not all that uncommon, but he consulted a urologist to get his opinion. The urologist said it would be best for me to get a catheter put in for a few days to keep my bladder empty and keep pressure off of the puncture so it would heal faster. I was NOT pleased to hear this (I've never had a catheter either), but I told him all I cared about was the eggs.

After everything was said and done, the nurse walked us down to the car and we headed to the urologist's office a few blocks away. Of course the nurse had just gone to lunch, so we had to wait 30 minuted in the waiting room. I was getting pretty miserable at that point. The pain started out being kind of like period cramps, but now it's pretty much like my organs have been punched and then juggled in a circus show. So yeah, they put the catheter in (I think they used the biggest one they could find) and attached it to a leg bag that goes underneath my clothes.

As soon as we got home I made Nick go and fetch some Arby's because I was sooo freakin hungry. I have since been taking my pain medicine every 3 hours because otherwise it hurts so much to even cough or sit up/down. I am hoping that I feel better tomorrow. The catheter isn't too bad, but I don't intend on leaving the house with it. I can take it out on Thursday morning, and I have to take some antibiotics while it is in.

My doctor was worried about me, and had me call him after the urologist and fill him in on what they said. He told me to call him day or night if I start having any troubles. I can't wait until the phone call tomorrow when they tell me how many fertilized!!!! He also said that Wednesday they will tell me if the transfer will be Thursday or Saturday.

That is it for now people, I am quite feeble right now. My mother is coming over tomorrow while the hubby is gone so she can be my personal assistant. I know it will be worth it, and someday in the future I'll laugh about all of this :)

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Sooner Than I Expected

I went in this morning for another US and blood draw. Since it's a Saturday it was a lot less hectic than usual. Dr. Haas drew my blood himself, than grabbed a nurse to assist him with the US. After he was all done counting and measuring, he looked over all of the numbers and told me we are going to do the retrieval on MONDAY!!!! Things are moving along nicely, and he gave me a ton of directions to follow from now until then and I had to write everything down to make sure I didn't forget one single thing!!

Today will be my last Lupron shot, and tonight I do my trigger HCG shot at 11pm sharp. Then tomorrow (hopefully) will be a shot-free day! Sunday evening I start an antibiotic, and will be NPO after midnight. Then Monday morning at 8:30am the hubby and I are to be at the office for the pre-op stuff with my painkiller and Progesterone shot in hand. The retrieval will be around 10am or 11am. Then after that I'm just basically watching for symptoms of hyperstimulation.

He also said he expects to do the transfer on Thursday or Saturday, but most likely Saturday. So after I left the office, I proceeded to call my husband and my best friend Sara to give them all of the updates for next week!!! I can't believe that this time has already come. I know the next couple of weeks are going to be soooo stressful and I'm not going to know what in the world to do with myself!!

I asked him about how many follicles it looks like will be ready for the retrieval, and he said there are about 3 that are really big, about 6 that are just right, and a few more that will probably mature by Monday. So it looks like maybe 10-12. May they be the best 10-12 I have in there!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

One Week to Go

Today I went in for yet another ultrasound and blood work with the Haasmeister (I call him that in my head...it makes me laugh). They were running behind this morning so I had to wait for awhile. I was also supposed to bring in the backup sample from hubby, which accidentally got left on the counter because I was in a hurry...so he is a bit perturbed with me. Oh well, that just means I get to see Dr. Haas AGAIN tomorrow morning! Oh, and Friday morning because I have another US and blood draw then too. We're actually becoming BFF.

As for the ultrasound, he measured and counted all of my follicles so far, and said that I will probably have a "modest" amount that will be mature enough to retrieve. That's kind of a speedbump in my thinking, but I'm trying not to let it dishearten me. What I'm really worried about is the quality of the embryoes and how well they develop. If they tell me there are none that are good enough to freeze, then I'll get worried.

The good thing is, I still have a whole week left until the retrieval, so a lot can happen to my follies. I'm still waiting on the phone call from him now to let me know if I need to change dosages of anything. Which brings me to the next subject at hand...

I received 1500 units of Follistim at the beginning of all of this. Well I've been using 200 a day, so that only equals 7 1/2 days worth. I will be taking it longer than that, so I ordered a refill today for 900 more units. Grand total for a TINY vial of miracle drug?? $725! OUCH. Makes my ovary hurt, LOL.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

My, What Big Follicles You Have...

Today I went in for a baseline ultrasound and bloodwork before I start my Follistim on Saturday. Dr. Haas was looking at my ovaries, and commented that they are more "robust" than my last ultrasound. So he tailored my Lupron and Follistim to try and avoid hyperstimulation. Otherwise, everything else looks good and I will see him again Monday morning for yet another blood draw.



The results of our blood we had drawn on the 8th were back, and we are both negative for all of the STD's they tested for (hurray!). AND, we both have O+ blood type! Now that's a soulmate...

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Hope is Rising


I work weekends, and I'm off (and home alone) throughout the week. The bad thing about that is I have time to sit, and think, and read. And hope. Don't forget that one. I have gotten pretty good over the years of dealing with my constant disappointments and broken dreams of conceiving. But just when I'm about to become the grandmaster and start teaching classes, IVF comes along and gets those butterflies all stirred up again.

A part of me wants SOOO bad to just be insanely optimistic and start picking out a crib. But then the realistic part of me knows that yes, about 60% of IVF cycles work in a woman <35, resulting in a whopping 40% that do not work! And of those lucky 60%, only 50% bring home a beautiful bouncing baby (or two). I know that my mom had several miscarriages, but I don't know if that will play a factor in my situation. Now don't be mistaken--we both went into this decision knowing that it was very risky and had a chance of failure. But we also knew that it is our LAST chance to have a natural child of our own. So that cinched the deal. Unfortunately, our loan does not care whether or not I get knocked up, so if our IVF fails, not only will I have yet another period every month, but also a loan payment as a reminder. *sigh*

It doesn't help I have been reading a bunch of blogs by pregnant women...that makes me want even more to be one of them, to be able to step into the role I was meant to do. With each Lupron shot, the hope grows a little more and a little more every day I get closer to the BIG day. My two friends dealing with infertility know the hope I speak of. It is not always welcome, yet nonetheless present and reminding us that we still are only human, and subject to imperfections.

I go in on Thursday for my pre-Follistim ultrasound/bloodwork, so I will post more then to update on the status of my ovaries. This is was mostly to get some stuff off of my chest!

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

The Notorious "Medication" Picture....

I finally received all of my injectables that I will be using for the next few weeks! They arrived on my doorstep today, and I have them all laid out nicely on display for you:




I'm not going to lie, I'm not all that excited about torturing my body but hey--you do what you have to do to get knocked up!! I have already started the Lupron (it goes in the belly) and it's not so bad. Leaves me a bit sore, but nothing crazy. I did the first one and made hubby do the second one. He freaked out because he's never given a shot before, whereas it's no big deal to me because I do it all the time at work. Except this time, I'm telling myself "Big stick!"

I am very excited about the upcoming weeks. Things will start progressing more quickly after I start the Follistim on the 20th. Then it will be blood draws and ultrasounds every couple of days. I'm hoping that the retrieval/transfer don't happen on days when I have to work because I will have to call in. I am under a contract to work 7p-7a every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday and I can't really miss any that aren't scheduled. But they will just have to deal with it!

Wish us luck with our new drug habits, and I will keep you updated!
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